Forest Fires

Last Saturday me and my friend Amy went to the ‘Nordic Delight Festival’ in Amsterdam. The reason I wanted to go there was because ‘Axel Flovent’ was one of the performers that night. His music helped me through some panic attacks and helped me go to sleep at night (I don’t sleep with my phone near my bed anymore, so I can’t listen to music at night). I came across his song ‘Forest Fires’ on the YouTube channel, ‘wavering noise’. It has been one of my favorite songs ever since.

Amy was wearing this adorable denim dungarees with a checkered blouse and I loved it so much my outfit is inspired by hers. We had a lot of fun, heard some really good new music and saw some weird movies that night. And I want to thank her for being so amazing.

I can’t change your thoughts, my dear
I can’t change your fears
But if you want I’ll travel near
To make it disappear

Your dreams are incredibly loud tonight
You’re creating forest fires
You can’t even change your sight
It’s stuck in you like a virus

Forest Fires

Forest Fires

Dress and blouse dress: Pull&Bear
Tights: H&M
Shoes: Bershka

As I mentioned earlier, this song means a lot to me. The lyrics feel like home and it calms me down in no time whenever I have a panic attack. I have anxiety disorder and panic attacks and my head feels full with thoughts, fears and panic all day. I think anyone with anxiety disorder can relate. Luckily I have amazing parents, friends and boyfriend that know about this and can calm me down whenever I have a panic attack or just let me at peace with my music to calm down. Especially the part ‘I can’t change your thoughts, my dear, I can’t change your fears, But if you want I’ll travel near, To make it disappear’ struck me, since Martin will always do his best to help me whenever I have a panic attack. He can tell me it’s all in my head but we both know it won’t help, so he just holds me and tells me everything is all right and that he loves me. I’m so thankful for him being my light in the mess of fear that is inside my head.

You won’t go, you are not a runner
So you won’t run away
If you could follow your heart gently
There wouldn’t be this mess
Maybe someday, just someday you’ll find a way back

Love, Marloes

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